lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
