i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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