Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
