dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
