i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no, he came in my armpit
Fuck appropriateness.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
