She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
