just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
