Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My hand turned me down
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
