The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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