Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
