i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
