I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
