As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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