I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
