What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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