Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
