you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
