epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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