He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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