he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
