everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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