Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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