butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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