is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
