you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
