i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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