That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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