I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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