then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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