Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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