My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
