I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize