I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
