I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
