If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
