So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
