I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
