Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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