there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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