There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have tasted many bathrooms
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
