he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
