I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
im on a boat
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