Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
