It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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