he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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