i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
