ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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