Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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