it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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