So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
