so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
