All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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