What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? šš
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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