His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My ass is underappreciated
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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