good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
