I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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