So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
