I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
