she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
